I’m teaching a convivial, very talented, 17-yearold singer. Before we met, I was “warned” that he is engaging, has a beautiful voice, but that he also had one frustrating aspect: He does not want to sing in public. If you heard him, you would likely react the way others have. They say, “He’s so wonderful but he’s wasting his talent” and “How can he have so much to offer but not share it?” I’ll admit I had a similar thought before meeting him. I imagined that getting him into the spotlight might be a “project” for me.

But when we finally met, and as our conversation turned to his reluctance, I had a weird experience. Instead of telling him we could find a way to take the first steps out of the wings, the words that came out of my mouth almost shocked me. I told him, “I play the piano almost every day and I shudder at the idea of playing in public.” I definitely did not plan on saying that! What was I thinking? But it’s true. As a conductor, I’ve led hundreds of public performances, no problem. But sitting alone at a keyboard with an audience is a scary thought. I love playing the piano, just at home with my wife and son. I make big fat errors. I play too loudly. Do that in public? No thanks. The fact is, I didn’t realize my student and I shared a genuine basic trait until he gave me the chance to say it out loud.

Music schools have to give recitals, right? We encourage our charges to step up and face the challenge. It’s important. Mostly. Yet there’s something to be said for those who prefer playing or singing for themselves, or their loved ones. The teacher/performer/mentor in me hopes my student will get the courage to step forward and bring all of us to tears with his beautiful voice. But music is also an authentic personal experience. Having a finely honed skill inside oneself is affirming and foundational. The rewards are both public and private.

My student knows he can sing. He wants to get better at it. That’s why he’s here. But he might not take it to the world. If he declines a recital, that’s his business. I will give him all the encouragement I can, and it’s up to him to do with his talent what he wants. While some might think that’s a shame, it’s no reason for shame. It’s legitimate.

 

 

 

Francis Graffeo

Executive Director

 

 

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